Dismantled

This week I’ve been stirred up by a bunch of stuff that’s mostly too personal to share here. When I mentioned briefly in an earlier post that the discipline of centering prayer begins to dismantle the false self, I was simply quoting the book. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been experiencing it. It’s pretty scary, as God begins once again to accept my invitation into the deep places in me that still are unhealed.

One of the distractions that can come while one is attempting to simply be in the presence of the Lord is called "the unloading of the unconscious." The book says, "sometimes insights into the darker side of our personality will emerge" as we "consent to the presence and action of God."

The analogy is that of a dark room. As the light comes on, all that is exposed to it becomes visible. In the same way as I settle into prayer, the lights come on in the deepest, darkest parts of who I am, and some of what I see there is discouraging, because it’s stuff I’ve known about and avoided for 34 years of knowing God. Ouch!